Fundamentalists
by chewynbj
Summary: What if our beloved couple grew up in a lifestyle not many of us understand?
1. Chapter 1

Fundamentalists

By Chewy

Beta'd by Scouse aka my love and my only

Rating: PG

I don't own anything. Not even the computer I'm typing this on.

I'm not real sure of this story. This deals with real life events that are happening. I hope you give it a try and let me know what you think. I am finally back however. I'm sorry it took so long.

Intro

It's not the same around here without my brother Glen. They just came and took him away. No warnings or anything. The worst part was, our parents did nothing but stand there and watch them rip him from our home and of our lives forever. He was everything to me. He protected me from the others. He was my best friend and now he's gone, and I don't know where.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I realize it's time to get up. No sleep again last night. I haven't been able to sleep for weeks, because every time I close my eyes, I go back to that day. I hate it, and I wish it wasn't true.

"SPENCER!"

Time to get up. Looking out the window, I notice the sun hasn't even risen yet.

My closet is so not what a normal teenage girl's closet should look like. There should be jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, flip flops, and short skirts. All I have are homemade dresses that come to my ankles, and if I'm feeling adventuress I have a couple that come to my calves. Sighing, I get dressed in my normal attire for the day. My long blonde hair braided down my back.

One last glance in the mirror before heading down stairs, reveals my blue eyes that have lost there luster.

Down stairs my mother is in the kitchen kneading bread. While her sister wives attend to other chores and the smaller children. My family. I have five mothers and twenty-one well twenty brothers and sisters. Glen was the oldest. Now I am which means it's almost my time. I will be placed with a husband not of my choosing. This is the only life I have ever known and with these new laws being passed I will not even have school as an escape pretty soon.

"Spencer, I need you to run to the market. We are out of milk and eggs." Mary hands me some money. She is my father's second wife and very far from my favorite. She reminds me more of an iceberg then a human.

"yes ma'am"

Hurrying out the door and down the road, I begin my short journey. The dirt road showing the way. My surroundings always the same. The wall of the compound blocking access to the outside world. A world of movies and music that I have never heard or seen. My favorite daydream is that I'm just a normal girl with normal parents, and I'm allowed to date who I want

Eyes burning into me break me away from my thoughts. Our prophet Norman Jessup is focused on me. His eyes give me chills. He is the one who is going to decide who I marry. I just hope it's not him. His last bride was my age and that was over a year ago. She's seventeen now. I believe her name is Ashley. Her Father was excommunicated from the church, and her mother was reassigned to Norman Jessup to be his wife. Then he turns around and claims her as a bride too.

"Good morning Sir." Nodding my head, I don't wait for the return. I speed my pace up instead. I can still feel his eyes on me the whole time.

Once at the market, I make my way through the crowds of other women. Grabbing the eggs and milk I was sent to get.

"Is this all for you today Spencer?"

"Yes sir." Mr. Frank is a very nice old man. However he has always been looked down upon by the others. He never entered a plural marriage. Mr. Frank was only married to one. He also showed affection to her which is also against the rules. She died a couple of years ago, and he never remarried.

"Here you go. Have a wonderful day Spencer." His smile is always warm and caring.

Bags in hand, I make my way home quickly and quietly.

The Carlin home is in my view now. The white two story house with a wrap around porch and a picket fence to match. Looks like it would be a wonderful place to grow up in. It might have been too, if it wasn't for it's location inside the compound.

We are all members of the FLDS or Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Most people call us Mormons. Our Prophet, who is head of our entire church and speaks to God, says we have to separate ourselves from the evil doers in the outside world. So that is why I am stuck behind these walls.

Sneaking into the backdoor unheard and unseen, I place the groceries in the fridge.

I can hear whispering coming from the hallway. It's my mother Paula and my father Arthur. Stepping closer to hear, I make sure not to be found out.

"Arthur, you can't let him marry Spencer. He has enough wives. Can't you…"

"Paula, you know there is no other choice. The Prophet Norman Jessup has spoken and his word is God's. Spencer is going to marry him next Sunday."

My worst nightmare has come true. I am going to be married to a man that is three times my age and gives me the creeps. I can never learn to love him or the life I was born too.

" Are you going to tell her?" My mother asks.

" I will as soon as she returns."

Moving slowly away from the door before making myself known, I wipe away the single tear from eye.

"I'm home!"

I walk into the living room and they're all there smiling except my mother. Even my father has a huge grin.

" You are going to make a beautiful bride Spencer." Annie announces. She is his third wife.

I pay her no mind as I continue to stare at my father then at my mother wanting and wishing it not to be true.

"No. I don't want to get married" I whisper it just aloud enough to be heard but my eyes remain locked to the floor now. I've been taught to obey and not to object to any order given.

"Spencer, you are going to be married to our Prophet. It's a great honor!" Arthur announces with such excitement.

"I don't want …" my sentence is cut short by him.

"It is God's will, and you are going to be married next Sunday. THAT'S FINAL!" Giving up, I just nod my head in agreement. It's pointless to argue.

"Go get changed. We are going to the Jessup's for Dinner, so you can meet your future sister wives. Most importantly so you can get to know you're soon to be husband." The proudness that radiates from him blinding.

We look like a parade with the sheer number of people walking down the road in our Sunday best. All of my father's wives carrying food trays along with myself. Everyone smiling at the joyous occasion except my mother and myself.

"You know Spencer it's not everyday the Prophet picks a bride" Ruth says. She's the fourth. I wanted to reply with he just got married last year for the tenth time, but I didn't. I just faked a small grin and kept on walking.

When we finally reach his house, I'm blown away with the sheer size of it. It's huge. I guess it would have to be with as many wives and children he already has. This was going to be my home. Probably more like a prison.

We are greeted by one of the wives at the gate. I'm not sure which one.

"Welcome to our home Mr. Carlin. Everyone is around back. Follow me please."

The small and rounded older woman took off around the side of the house. We all followed suit with my father in the lead. Once around back, I get the first real look at all of them. Man and I thought my family was large. I swear I'm never going to remember them all.

"Spencer, come with me I want to introduce to your future sister wives." The same woman states. She knows my name and I'm not sure of hers.

"Yes ma'am"

We walk further into the backyard into the mob of people. "I'll introduce you to our newest sister wife first."

We walk up behind a brunette with curly hair even though it is tied up. I can tell. "Spencer, I would like for you to meet Ashley."

She turns around and I'm met with the most gorgeous brown eyes I have ever seen. I've never felt this way from just looking at someone before. This is totally new to me. I'm not sure of what to do. I'm lost.

"Hi. I'm Ashley." She extends her hand to greet to me. I take her hand in mind. We can both feel the sparks. I see it in her eyes too.

"Spencer."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm going ahead and posting the next chapter tonight since my work week is crazy and I have court on Friday again. I loved all the comments I have received so far and I'm planning on giving feedback as soon as I get the chance.

Beta'd by: Scouse

Rating: PG

Chapter 1

Ashley smiles at me, and I swear I see her nose crinkle. "It's nice to meet you." She states before dashing off quickly. I lose her almost instantly in the crowd. And with it, my heart rate drops. I had so hoped to get to know her better so I could maybe explain the strange feelings I just had.

"Come on Spencer. You have plenty more to meet." Crest fallen, I follow onward.

"Yes ma'am"

We track up and down the yard meeting wife after wife. The names I remember are Susan, Linda, Millie, and of course Ashley. There are way too many names and I fear I will never get them all. I did find out that the woman showing me around and introducing me to everyone is named Lucy. She seems nice though. The one person I really don't want to meet or get to know is in my sight, and we are heading right for him.

He is a rather tall skinny man with blackish grey hair that is thinning on top. No facial hair to speak of either. I've never not seen him in a suit as well. His eyes however give me chills. They show nothing.

He is supposed to be our Prophet. Our direct line to God. He arranges all our marriages. Women have no say in whom or when we marry. It is almost like we are second class citizens. We are to obey our husbands and submit to them if we are to enter the celestial kingdom. That is the only way, and we are taught that every Sunday in church.

"Why hello again Spencer" He extends his hand and reluctantly I take it. No spark. Nothing at all except a growing pit in my stomach.

"Hello sir" I whisper

"You don't have to call me sir. My name is Norman, and we are going to be married" He gives me a once over before turning to Lucy.

"Lucy would you mind giving Spencer and I some time to get to know each other better, please"

"Of course Norman" She presses a quick kiss to his lips and is off. I watch her leave, and I try my hardest to wish her back.

"So what do you think of your future sister wives?" He motions for me to sit beside him. I obey.

"They seem nice."

"Wonderful. I have high hopes for you." He looks away to wave at someone across the way. I really want to know what he means by that statement though.

"You do?"

"Yes I do. You will provide me with beautiful children. God told me. That is why he chose you for my wife"

"He … he told you that?"

"Yes he did." His fingers grasped my chin like he is wanting a kiss, but I turned my head away.

"Norman?" Finally looking away from me, he turns his head to see who interrupted him. I look to see who my savior is. It's Ashley.

"Ashley my dear. Come sit with us. I want you to get to know Spencer and I want you to show her what is expected of her everyday in my household." She sits on the other side of him. I notice his hand goes directly to her covered leg and she flinches a bit; however, I have a new feeling bubbling in me and I'm almost certain my feeling is going to get me nowhere but straight to hell. "Well, I will leave you two to get to know each other better." With that, he stands up to leave but not before giving Ashley a kiss on the lips too.

We both watch him leave. Neither of us saying a word. I do notice that she is rather nervous though but so am I. The silence is unbearable to me and I have to break it.

"So do you like being married to the Prophet?" Dumb question I know, but it was all I could think to ask.

"It's amazing. I feel so much closer to God ever since." Her eyes give her away instantly. She hates it.

"Is that why you flinched when he touched you?"

"I don't know what you are talking about!" She stands quickly and darts off much like before.

Several hours and hundreds of congratulations later we are heading home. Well at least my home for the next week. I have never looked so forward to getting into my room than I do at this moment. My father comes up beside me and places his arm around me. "I have never been so proud or happy in my life" The smile on his face is so bright and cheery. I want to scream at him and say NO dad I will not marry him but my upbringing has taught me different. "Just think this time next week you will be married to our Prophet"

My father keeps up his rant all the way home. Most of his wives singing the same praise as him. The younger children seem excited but I don't think that they realize what is happening. My mother is smiling but it doesn't reach her eyes. She will not say anything to stop it either because to go against her husband is to go against God.

Once we reach the house, I make a dash for my room. I want to be alone with my thoughts.

"SPENC…" My mother doesn't have time to finish my name before my door is shut and locked. I change out of my dress for a more comfortable one before letting my hair down.

My mirrored reflection doesn't look the same as it did this morning. There is something different about me now. It's like I realized something about myself. I just wish it would let me in on it is all. The spark is back in my eyes. Looking down at my hand, the one that Ashley touched. Did she give me my spark back? There are so many questions I have, but I have no idea who or how to ask. I'm just as lost as I was this morning when I woke up and instead of having some questions answered I just added to the list.

Questions like why did my heart jump when I met Ashley, or like why did I feel nothing for my future husband. I'm so confused. They needed to teach us about these things in school.

Throwing myself on my bed, I grab my pillow and scream into it "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH" thankfully it was muffled.

My mind wonders again to Ashley almost instantly. I wonder how she has such an affect on me. I hope I had an affect on her too. I must have. She was nervous too.

Knocking at the door breaks me away "Spencer, may I come in?" It's my mother.

"Yes" I get up and unlock the door to let her in. "What is it mother?"

"I wanted to talk to you in private" I nod and close the door behind her before sitting on my bed. "I know you are not excited about this marriage and to be honest neither am I." I start to say my agreement but she raises her hand to finish. "God is the one who decided you should marry our Prophet. We must not disobey him. You will be a great wife and mother, Spencer." Without another word, she is gone. I am left alone again.

I guess this time next week I will be Spencer Jessup instead of Spencer Carlin. The only good thing I can think of coming out of this is it will give me a chance to get closer to Ashley and maybe figure out what these feelings are.

Not wanting to deal with anything else today, I resign myself to sleep for the first time in weeks. My life is about to change completely, and even I have no clue how.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I guess I should of explained this in my first a/n. My entire family is Mormon. However they are not like the ones in my story. They are the mainstream ones. I however haven't been in years (approx 13 yrs) since I've been. Makes for a very interesting story with me being gay and living with my girlfriend Kayla. LOL! It's a barrel of laughs making my mom roll her eyes at us. Kayla also plots ways to scare my mom to death. Ps: Kayla wants to know if anyone has a snake we can borrow to scare my mom?

Beta'd by my crazy Cinderella lovin girlfriend who sings along with it.

Rating PG

I own nothing

Chapter 2

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Smashing my hand into my alarm clock, I groan at being woke up. I would love to sleep in all day and do absolutely nothing for a change.

Looking over to see the time, I realize its 5:30am. The sun is not even up but yet again I am.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"Spencer get up. We have a lot to do today" Sarah exclaims. She's my father fifth wife, and his youngest.

I grumble some sort of reply to her before rolling out of bed to take a shower. Grabbing my towel and clothes, I make my way to the bathroom. Once inside I lock the door and start up the shower. Turning the radio on, the room fills with music. It's the chorus.

~_Walk tall your daughter, a child of God. Be strong - please remember you are. Try to understand, you're part of his great plan. He's closer than you know. Reach up he'll take your hand~_

This use to be my favorite song. I always thought it was trying to instill self worth into me and others like me. We sang it all the time in choir during Young Women meetings every Wednesday night. Hearing the song now makes me think its more like everything else they teach us.

_~Long before the time you can remember. Our father held you in his arms so tender. Those loving arms released you as he sent you down to earth. He said "My child I love you. Don't forget your great worth~_

The chorus starts up again, but I can't stand to listen to it anymore. Flipping the radio off, I dry off before getting dressed in my usual attire. I was feeling a bit more adventuress today so I have my calve length dress on. Opting not to blow-dry my hair, I pull it up into a ponytail instead.

Finally ready to start my day, I'm met by all the women in our household. They all seem giggly and excited. I just wonder what sort of torture they have come up with for me today.

Taking the steps slowly down towards them, I do my best to slow down time. I fail greatly at this and I curse God for making these crazy rules for us to live by.

"We have a big surprise for you today!" My mother states. Raising my eyes in wonder, I wait for her to continue. "Well you see …" she's interrupted by someone knocking at our door.

"They're here!" Ruth smiles as she goes to answer the door. Who is here? Have they invited more people over to bask in my misery?

"We are so glad you came." Annie greets them as Ruth steps to the side. It's Norman's wives. All of them came. Ashley is here too. Maybe I can talk to her today.

"Thank you for inviting us. We are honored to be here and to get to know our soon to be newest sister wife." The oldest one announces. I've nicknamed her alpha wife.

My curly haired brunette stands off to the back out of the way while everyone else surrounds me. I hear questions being thrown at me in all directions and I'm not sure who is answering them because I'm not. "Does she have her wedding dress?" "Yes" "what else…?" I block them out since I'm not sure who is saying or asking what. I'm focused on Ashley and her fiery chocolate eyes. Her eyes haven't left mine. It's almost like she is trying to figure out what is happening between us too. My brain is telling me to push through the women surrounding me and go to her but my body will not move. Every cell in my body wants to touch her again. I want the spark.

"Ashley will you go get the dress from the closet over there?" My mother points to a door not to far from her.

"Yes ma'am"

Our eye contact is finally lost as she rummages through the closet. "Found it!" she exclaims.

The white dress in her hands is very plain and modest but pretty. She brings it over and with each step she is closer and closer to me. To touching me.

Handing the dress over to the crazy women around me, Ashley does the one thing I was craving. Her hand brushes across my arm causing the spark to ignite again and the hairs to stand up. I bite my lip to keep from asking her to not let go. She does however and moves away quickly. She is back to the other side of the room just staring at me again and our little game starts all over. I know it's my turn next. I'm just not sure how.

The nose crinkle is back however and with it my insides melt. I love her smile and I can't help but return it.

What is happening to me? What is she doing to me? What are these feelings? Is it friendship? It must be because anything else would be a sin. However in the back of my mind I know that it is more than friendship.

I've never wished for Glen to be here more than I do now. He would help me understand what is going on. I know it.

Hours later and numerous staring contests between Ashley and I, they are gone. I have never been poked and prodded so much in my life.

"Come on girl's time to clean up before Arthur gets home." Ruth goes to start dinner while the rest of us clean up. I'm not hungry at all. My stomach is filled with butterflies from Ashley.

All the kids cleaned and sat at the dinner table just as Arthur walks in.

"How are my lovely women?" They all reply and he kisses each of them before sitting down. "So kids anything fun happen today?" The smaller ones scream in excitement about all there adventures. My father just smiles and laughs at their stories.

"Spencer great news." Please tell me I'm not getting married. "I've signed the papers you have been officially un enrolled in school today." WHAT! No, I love school it's my escape. He can't do that to me. "Isn't that great?"

"Yes sir" NO!

Everything is being taken away from me. My schooling. My freedom. I'm pretty sure they would take my mind if they could. I have nothing now.

"Time to say grace" He announces.

We all bow our heads and fold our arms.

"Our heavenly father we ask you to bless us and our daily …." He rambles on for what seems like hours about forgiving this and blessing that. My mind however drifts to chocolate eyes and a crinkling nose which puts a smile on my face. Maybe I should pray for answers to my questions and what is the right thing to do.

"In Jesus Christ's name Amen." My father ends his prayer and we can finally eat.

"Spencer I'm glad to see you so happy with fulfilling our lord's will" Arthur exclaims.

I didn't realize I was still smiling about Ashley.


	4. Chapter 4

**Beta'd by Scouse my crazy girlfriend that made me make her a grill cheese at 2:30am. LOL!**

**Rating PG-13**

**Chapter 3**

**He hasn't stopped whistling since dinner. My father has never been so happy or excited before. His eldest daughter is marrying the prophet. I bet he has been bragging to all his priesthood buddies too. Most days I wish they would have taken me away with Glen; however, I know that would never happen. I know why too.**

**I had heard Mr. Frank talking about it. Basically, they get rid of the younger men in the community so the higher ups can have younger girls to choose from for their brides. The more I think about everything that goes on inside this compound, the more I wonder if God has anything to do with it. **

**Lately, I seem to find myself daydreaming more and more about life not around the Mormon lifestyle. A life where my father is just my dad who loves me for me and only wants me to be happy. My mother to be the sort of person with her own thoughts and feelings and not afraid to voice them. To finish high school and go to college where I can do anything. Now I picture Ashley in my dreams as well. At least after tomorrow, I can see her all the time.**

**Tomorrow is my wedding day. It's supposed to be the most wonderful day of my life and yet I fear it the most. My wedding or my imprisonment as I've named it is nothing like I thought it would be. I'm not marrying someone of my choosing or age. I wish I could runaway tonight but I have nowhere to go. I'm trapped.**

**Sleep doesn't come at all tonight. Visions of my impending doom being overshadowed by curly hair and sparks. God, please let tomorrow never come.**

"**Spencer honey, time to get up" is whispered into my ear. I mumble before turning over and covering my head with the pillow.**

**Pillow being yanked away "Get up now! It's your wedding day" The cheeriness in her voice is making me sick. Please don't remind me.**

"**I'm up" Someone kill me please.**

"**We have a lot to do today to get ready." With that my mother stands up and leaves my room. **

**Rolling out of bed, I stand in front of my mirror. I stare at my reflection willing it to give me the answers I seek. Besides, after today, I will not even be my own person. I'm so scared. **

**A knock at my door stops my panic for the moment. I wonder who it is now to spread their cheer.**

**Opening the door, I'm met with the last person I expected to see. **

"**Why are you here?" shock evident in my voice.**

"**I'm here to help you get ready, of course" the rasp of her voice is like music to my ears.**

"**I mean. Why you Ashley?"**

"**I offered" Does that mean she wanted to see me and talk to me alone as much as I wanted to with her?**

"**Oh" I wasn't sure what else to say.**

**Crest fallen, she turns to leave. "If you don't want me to …"**

"**No stay" I grab hold of her arm and the sparks are back ten fold. We both stare at my hand for what seems like forever before we look up and lock eyes. I can see the same questions burning in her eyes as mine. **

"**Do you feel that too?" She whispers. **

"**Yes" **

"**Why do I only feel it when I touch you or you touch me?" Confusion mirrors both our faces.**

"**I don't know. Maybe it's a sign that we where suppose to meet or something"**

"**Maybe. Come on lets get you ready for your big day" NO! NO! NO! NO! I want to just stay in my room with Ashley all day.**

**Heartbroken, I surrender to getting ready. Ash braids my hair and helps me with my dress. My wedding is approaching quickly. I pray for her to take me by the hand and runaway with me into the unknown. **

"**You know Spence, I think we are going to be great friends" The smile that erupts onto my face at Ashley's statement and her nickname for me is contagious because she smiles too. **

"**Friends" Maybe being friends with her will help me figure everything else out if not confuse me a lot more.**

"**You are beautiful Spencer" I look over to her and she is just staring at me not blinking. I blush at the complement though.**

"**Thanks"**

"**Well come on its time" I almost forgot about that for a moment. **

**The rest of the day is a blur. I remember arriving at his house and people all around. There was music too. My father basically dragging me down the isle. I heard an I do from the stranger beside me. I can't really remember at all if I said anything at all. There was a kiss too. It was my first and so not what I imaged it to be like. Like I said before it was a blur. The only thing I do know is that I'm married. I have become the eleventh sister wife to our prophet. I'm no longer Spencer Carlin. **

**I feel an arm go around me but no spark. Looking at the person who has invaded my personal space, I find it to my newly appointed husband. "I hope you are looking forward to tonight" is whispered in my ear. I say nothing because I'm scared to death. **

**Ashley is staring at us from across the yard. There is a fire in her eyes but different from last time. Is she jealous? I just wish I knew if was of him or me. I really hope she is jealous of him with his arm around me and not the other way around. These thoughts that keep popping randomly in my head are starting to scare me because they are not thoughts I should be having about a girl. My head tells me its wrong but my heart tells me to go with it and to trust it. I've always done what is right by our laws but now I'm willing to risk it all to figure out my own feelings and hopefully Ashley's too.**

**The sun is starting to set and the day is almost over. It's official this has been the shortest day of my life so far. **

**Everyone stops by and congratulates us, well technically him. There is nothing for me to celebrate. People are starting to leave which means its coming to end for everyone else, and the beginning of my nightmare.**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: All I'm gonna say about this chapter is that MY GIRLFRIEND MADE ME WRITE IT THIS WAY OR ELSE NO HEAD EVER AGAIN!!!!!! So please direct all hate mail towards her. I'm gonna hide behind the rock.

Beta'd by Scouse aka my girlfriend!

Rating NC-17

Chapter 4

Standing facing the mirror, I'm dressed in a white gown that is almost see through. My hands are sweaty and I can't stop shaking. To make it worse, I think I'm gonna throw up too. I so don't want to be here right now. Please God, save me.

"Spencer honey, come in here." No! No! No! "It's time" His cheery voice is only making my jitters worse.

Holding back my tears, I slowly make my way into the bedroom. Norman is sitting on the bed smiling at me. He's wearing white also. Patting the spot beside him on the bed, he motions for me to join him.

Knowing better then to disobey, I take the available spot on the bed beside him.

"You are so beautiful" Rough cold hands brush my hair behind me. I look at him for a moment hoping that I can convince him to call off the whole thing with my eyes. He doesn't care though. He has me exactly where he wants me. "Tonight is a very special night for us, Spencer" His fingers run down to my shoulders grasping them tightly before kissing my forehead. I stiffen at the touch. Please make this stop, I wish over and over again in my head.

Pulling away from me, I watch his eyes travel my whole body. " Move up by the pillows and lay down." He whispers into my ear. I glance at the door briefly wondering if I can make my escape. It's pointless though cause I have nowhere to run. I'm stuck.

Doing as a good Mormon wife would, I obey. I lay on top of the sheets with my head on the pillow. Arms at my side and legs straight, I am scared stiff. My gown no longer hiding my curves and such, it now provides a silhouette of me. Slight dipping of the bed causes me to advert my eyes to him. He's changed his position now. Norman is still sitting but facing the headboard instead.

"Beautiful" he whispers again before leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips. It's rough and hard. I can feel him trying to force his tongue into my mouth. I however do not allow it. Keeping my mouth clamped shut, I try to not think about what is happening. Until I feel him shift lower down on me. Older lips trace down my neck and I flinch at every nip.

A cold hand covers my breast causing me to gasp at the shock. No one has ever touched them except me and that was only to wash them. My husband takes it as a sound of enjoyment and continues his movements. A single tear escapes unseen as he squeezes, twists, and pinches my nipple.

Someone please make it stop.

As if someone was listening, he pulls away from me but my relief is short lived.

" I want to see all of you." With that one statement all the color is drained from my face.

"Please n….."

Cutting me off "It's your duty as my wife to submit to me in every way. Now remove your gown" the last part was a demand not a statement.

Giving up since there is nothing else I can do, I stand up from the bed and remove my gown and reveal my body to my husband. Cold grey eyes on me the entire time. Those eyes rake over my body drinking me in completely. I've never felt so dirty in my life. I attempt to cover myself in shame.

The prophet moves to sit on the edge of the bed again in front of me. "Come here"

Once again I obey. I walk in almost touching distance. " Come here" this time he points to between his legs. Taking a big gulp, I take the last couple of steps. " Drop your hands. No covering yourself."

A few rouge tears escape once again as fingers trace down me. The further south they go the more I want to scream and run. Without even realizing what he was doing, I felt his mouth on my breast. Norman wraps his hand around me pulling me closer into him. Squeezing my butt, I hold back the gasp to keep him from doing it again. " Lay back down. I want to truly feel you."

Like a robot, I do as I am told. This time he stands up and removes his own clothes. Closing my eyes, I refuse to look at him. Norman pays no mind and crawls on top of me. Skin to skin, his body pressed into mine and he tells me to relax. That I will enjoy this. Somehow I doubt it. I can feel him wiggling his way between my legs. His penis hard already. The older man goes in for another kiss. This time however, I turn my head to the side and he gets my cheek.

Grabbing a hold of my face, he forces me to look at him. "I want to see your face"

Ripping, burning, and pain fills my body. It causes me to lose my breath instantly. Tears pool in my eyes. I want it to stop. The urge to scream is over powering. I let loose a blood curdling scream. Paying me no interest, Norman thrusts into me over and over again. Each time harder then the next. Speed picking up with every second that goes by. I pray for it to end fast.

Heavy panting and grunts come from above me until I hear a loud moan. He falls on top of me covered in sweat and breathing hard. I can hardly breathe with him on top of me. It seems like forever before he rolls off of me. When he finally does, he pulls me into his sweaty body and holds on tight.

"I love you" is whispered out from his lips. I say nothing.

Once his breathing evens out and I realize he is asleep, the tears flow easily and freely from me. All I want to do is crawl into the shower to clean myself of him.

Sleep never comes and I watch the clock count down the minutes till morning.

Rustling and movement on the bed next to me makes me close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. I definitely don't want a replay of last night. Never a word to me, he gets out of bed and moves around the bedroom. I still refuse to open my eyes and see however.

"Spencer" its whispered into my ear. I can smell him next to me. "I've got to go attend to church business. I left you a note" He kisses me again, and it takes every ounce of me not to flinch. "Love you, my beautiful new wife" Lifting the sheet up, I feel a cool draft run down my nude body. Norman gave my body another once over before leaving.

A few minutes after the door closes behind him I'm up. The note he mentioned is on the nightstand. Grabbing the note, I wonder what he wrote. It's a to do list.

_Spencer,_

_Clean the sheets. You made a mess. Once you are done with that clean the bathroom. You are my wife now and with that you live by my rules. I love you. One more thing before I forget. When you finish the sheets and bathroom, go see Rita. She will tell you what else you need to do today._

_Norman_

_p.s: I hope last night was great for you too. _

_It was a nightmare. I hated every second of it. _

_Wondering how I made a mess last night, I look down at the sheets I'm laying in. They're stained red. Blood? Removing the sheet covering me, I see more dry blood on my inner thighs. _

_Not having any other choice, I get out of bed only to be met with a searing pain between my legs. Keeping my tears and pain inside, I work quickly pulling the sheets off the bed and onto the floor. I'll leave them in a pile on the floor for now. I decided I need a shower first. Luckily, the bathroom is attached to the bedroom, so I don't have far to go. Inside the bathroom, I realize why he said to clean it too. There is toothpaste in the sink, towels on the floor, and urine all around the toilet. Ignoring all of that, I turn the shower on. _

_Once the water is just right, I step in under the warm spray. The water cascading down my body and into the drain. Washing away all of his smell and touch from my body, I scrub until I'm red all over. Thirty minutes pass and with it goes the hot water before I get out of the shower. _

_Finally dried off and dressed, I get to work cleaning the bathroom. All the time gagging at the smell. Finishing the bathroom finally, I grab the sheets and head downstairs to the wash. All the other wives are sitting at the table talking. _

"_Excuse me, where is the washer?" I interrupt them briefly._

"_I'll take care of these. You have a seat dear." Susan gets up and takes the sheets from me before disappearing somewhere through the kitchen. _

"_Welcome to our family Spencer. I'm Rita incase you don't remember." So Rita is the alpha wife as I've named her._

"_Thanks. I was told I needed to see you for things to do." Everyone giggles except for me. _

"_Just relax. There are so many of us that it takes no time at all to complete the house work, and we are already finished today." _

"_I'll show you around" A raspy voice draws my complete attention. It's Ashley_

"_Okay. Thanks" A smile plays at my lips for the first time today. _

_A hand extends in front of me and for the first time since my wedding I take the offered hand willingly. The spark has turned into bolts of lightening. _

_After showing me all round the inside of the house, I'm lead outside to the barn. Ashley hasn't let go of my hand once. _

"_So this is the barn" She spins us around quickly. "And this is my secret place" I'm pulled to a small door behind the hay. Inside the small room is a couple of blankets, a lamp, and books and magazines that I've never seen or read before._

"_No one else knows about this place" Her chocolate orbs beg me to keep her secret. _

"_I will never tell" Her smile erupts across her face. "Why did you show me though?" _

"_I thought you might want to talk more in private or just get away." I'm pulled over to the blankets. Don't think I haven't notice that Ashley hasn't let go of my hand once either. _

"_Tell me the truth Ashley. Does it get better?" She looks deeply into my eyes before answering._

"_No" She takes a deep breath before going on and any hope I had is gone. "I cried for weeks after I married him. You where right last week at the picnic too. I did flinch. I still do whenever he touches me. It doesn't feel right." Ash wipes away a tear "I found this place about six months ago and started secretly collecting the books and magazines that you see." _

_I quickly skim over the titles. Seeing Redbook, Seventeen, and US weekly for the magazines. The books way out numbered the magazines. Titles I've never seen or heard about before. Like the Outsiders, To Kill A Mocking Bird, and The Shinning. There where so many more that it would take me all day to go through them._

"_This is what I'm reading now" The book she hands over is called Lessons. As I go to flip it over to see what it is about Ashley takes it from me. _

" _I just wanted to see what it was about" _

_Holding the book close to her "I know but not yet. Okay?" I nod my agreement. I have never wanted to know what a book was about so bad in my life. "You can read one of the others if you want."_

"_Maybe later. I want to talk with you more" The smile is back that I love. "What are the others like?"_

"_They're nice for the most part. A couple of them look down on me because I don't have any children" She bites her lip "I can't have kids. I don't think my mom told him."_

"_Where is your mom?"_

"_You met her already. She is his seventh wife Debbie" She takes a deep breath before continuing. "He married my mom after my dad was excommunicated from the church."_

"_They took my brother away" I try to show understanding in that I know where she is coming from. "I miss him so much. He told me he was going to take me away from this place once."_

"_I miss my dad too, but he never spoke of taking me away." Nervousness overcomes Ashley's face "Can I ask you something personal?"_

"_I guess"_

"_Why do I feel like so comfortable with you and why do I have the need to go out of my way to touch you?" A small sign of panic arises in her eyes at that last part._

"_I don't know, and I feel the same way." I squeeze her hand "We'll figure it out together"_

* * *

_I hated writing the first part of this chapter very much too_


	6. Chapter 6

I'm sorry about not posting sooner but my ex has struck again in order to get my kids. I have a court date on my birthday of all days for criminal charges now and all I did was keep him from busting into my parents house unwelcome by standing in front of the door. This could also cause me to lose my job as well to make matters worse and why just because he doesn't want to pay child support. Sorry about the rant. I've been a little upset lately. This update has more spashley goodness in it so enjoy.

Unbeta'd ( Scouse is sleeping on me at the moment)

Rating PG-13

Chapter 5

"Together" is repeated from Ashley. Followed by a comfortable smile.

"Any idea on where to start to figure all this out?" I ask

"Maybe" Her eyes revert down to the book she is holding in her hands. Tracing the cover with one finger before looking back up at me.

My eyes focus back down to the book in her hands. The cover taunts me because it gives nothing away about the book. The simple picture of school books and an apple leaves me wondering if that is the book that is going to help us solve our mystery.

"We need to get back before they come looking." Ashley stands up and the helps me up as well.

Tripping over my own feet, I fall into her arms. Our noses are almost touching, and I can feel her breath on me. My breathing hitches at the explosion of electricity entering my body. My brunette savior must of felt it too because her breathing stopped as well. Our eyes lock and the urge to kiss her consumes me. It takes all I have to push away from her and muttered "sorry".

"its okay" Ash's breath is shaky. Her eyes have darkened in color. Did she want to kiss me too?

We leave the barn in silence, walking towards the house, stealing glances at each other trying not to get caught but failing every time.

Reaching the house, we are greeted by Susan. " Where have you two been?" Her hands placed on her hips and tapping her foot, she waits for our answer.

Ashley replies for the both of us " I was showing her around the barn and the yard"

"Okay. Both of you go get the kids cleaned you and ready for dinner. Norman will be home soon." The last part causes all the color to drain from my face and a cold sweat to break out. Ashley must have noticed and grabbed my hand again and squeezed it to reassure me that I wasn't alone.

"Okay" with that she yanks me inside the house to help round up the kids.

Some of the older children helped us out getting the small ones washed and dressed for dinner. Norman's eldest daughter wasn't much younger then Ash and I. She's fifteen years old and is the spitting image of her mom Rita. Dark hair and eyes and a smile that meets her eyes. I wonder who her dad is going to marry her off to.

"Kyla, go make sure James is getting ready please" Ashley yells over her shoulder while getting Amanda dressed. I on the other hand was having a time getting a diaper on Mathew the youngest. He reminds me of a spider monkey. Always moving.

"I'm on it" Kyla yells on her way out the door.

Dinner is nothing like at my home. There is no laughing or joking when Norman is around. The children eat at their own table while the rest of us eat together. The food is good though. Rita is a great cook.

Ashley is sat across from me. She keeps looking at me when no one else is paying attention but me. I would give anything to be sitting beside her right now instead. Norman is to my right and his hand brushes against me every so often causing me to flinch.

Dinner felt like it lasted for hours and I hated every minute of it sitting beside him. At one point his hand wondered to my leg, and I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I crossed my legs away from him. The look on his face told me I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't care.

Now here I am washing all the dishes with Kyla's help.

"I remember you from school. Don't I?" Kyla asks as she dries another cup.

I don't answer. I just simply nod my head yes. I miss school already and its only been a day.

"younger and younger" is muttered under her breath. I don't think I was meant to hear it but I did. I stare at her realizing that she feels the same way I do about all this.

"yeah" is all I say to let her know I heard her and that I understand. We continue doing the dishes in silence after that.

In living room I'm all the sisters wives are sitting and chatting, all but Ashley. I'm about to ask where she is when I realize Norman is nowhere to be found either. My eyes follow the stairs up. Knowing what she is doing. My heart breaks for her.

"Spencer, come with me I'm gonna show you where you can sleep on your free nights." Free nights? Is that what they call there nights away from him. I guess the room I was in last night was his then. Rita gets up and heads for the stairs.

"Okay" I follow

The room she takes me to is small. There are two twin size beds and two small dressers. "We already put your clothes up for you." She points to bed closest to the door "that's your bed" Rita states placing a hand on my shoulder before leaving.

I nod to let her know I heard her. The door shuts behind him and in an instant I'm on my new bed crying. I don't want to be here. I wanna go home.

Eventually I drift off to sleep not looking forward to tomorrow.

The next morning I wake to find the other bed still empty. It doesn't look like anyone slept in it all night. Looking out the window, I can tell the sun hasn't come up yet which means its really early still.

The door knob turning adverts my attention away from the window. When the door swings open, I pray for it to be anyone but Norman.

The figure stands in the doorway and it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to see who it is.

"Ashley?" I croak out.

"Spencer is that you? What are you doing in here?" She shuts the door quickly before turning on the light.

"Rita said too" The smile that beams from her is enough to light up the whole room easily. "Where you with Norman last night?"

She focuses on the bed unable to look me in the eyes and I know she was. "Why? I figured it would be me again."

"I took your place" The look in her eyes is something I can't place at the moment.

"Why?"

"I was protecting you. I saw how you where acting earlier with just the mentioning of his name and then dinner. I didn't want him to hurt you again, so I offered myself to protect you" She rambled out in one complete breath.

" You didn't have to but thank you. I don't think I could have handled another night" I've never felt so bad in my life.

"Your welcomed Spence" A hand brushes the hair away from my face and the urge I had yesterday is back. I still want to kiss her.

I just wish I knew why I wanted to and where these feelings are coming from. They are completely new to me. My mind thinks back to the book Ashley has. I wonder if that is the key to solving all the mysteries inside me.


End file.
